For the past few days I’ve been struggling with why women aren’t allowed to become pastors. I feel fairly certain that I would choose to go that route- if it weren’t for my being a girl. I know that, although there may not be a verse that outright says it, women are not supposed to be leaders in the church. I believe that this is true, but it’s a little bit hard for me to swallow. I truly feel like I could do a much better job as a pastor than most boys could. Yet I know that that’s not the way God set it up to be. Men are to be leaders; women are to be followers. It’s a result of Eve’s sin, but it’s also part of God’s plan.
Today in my Bible I was reading through laws in Leviticus. In the same way that I had been thinking about women not being pastors, I started to wonder “Why did God make it this way? How could it be right for a just and loving God to make a bunch of silly phony baloney rules that made life miserable with no clear purpose? So the poor Israelite girls had to go through all the natural biological annoyances and discomfort of being a woman, but to add to that they actually had to offer SIN offerings to pay for their “uncleanness” too… as if it was their own fault? Wasn’t it punishment enough, God, for women to have to deal with all that junk without having to feel guilty about it?!?”
Oh, if I only stopped more often to think. The great God who created the whole universe, sustained it, then came down from his seat in heaven to die to save it… I’m getting mad at this God for having rules and for doing things according to his will and plan instead of my will and plan, for doing what is right in his eyes instead of what is right in my eyes? When I just take the time to think about it… I’m blown away. God knows best. He’s not making me endure anything more than I deserve; no, he bore all the punishment I deserve, and he gave me all the good things that I didn’t deserve. If his perfect plan for me included being a pastor, he would have made me a boy. But he didn’t. He made me the introverted, perceptive, artful, girl that I am, because he knew what was just right for me. He loves me with a love so deep I cannot fathom it. He never holds back anything good from me. He calls me his daughter.
When we begin to be upset with God, we need to take a time-out. There is absolutely NO good reason to feel mad or disappointed at him. We should feel eternally grateful for what he has done for us. We should stand in awe of his perfect plans. We need to realize that we won’t always understand why things are the way that they are. God’s ways are not the same as ours. He sees the whole picture, the picture that he himself has painted just the way he wants it to be, while we only see tiny bits and pieces. Trust him.